WOW! I kept up with that huh? Well I did admit to being lazy what more do ya want? So here it is...March15th-husband still in Iraq...three children are all accounted for. I have managed to drop a few pounds...But I have managed to fall of the food wagon-or maybe it's that I jumped on it? I'm not sure how that goes...I did point out to one of my friends today that I just about have this bulimia thing where I want it...I have mastered the art of binging....now if I could just make myself enjoy throwing up I would be set!!! I digress...I don't really want this to be all about food and weight...I just have all these voices and thoughts in my head and I need to get them out! Nothing is scarier than a hungry mom of three kids with random thoughts floating in her head...medication can't always calm everything...Ha ha!
Lately, I have entered this zen like lifestyle with cleaning. first let me explain something here...I am the type of person who is more than happy to live out of laundry basket-indefinitely. I mean it is kind of silly if you ask me. We take the clothes out of the drawers, put them on, take them off put them in a hamper (or throw it in a pile on the floor) and then we load them into the washer (sometimes I stall out here-and the clothes sit for 2-3 days at which point I need to wash them again because they have a funk about them now) then they are put into the dryer and next the laundry basket, and then folded and put away back into the drawers they came from...seems like an awful lot of work for clothes!!! I say...everyone gets their own laundry basket...one for clean clothes one for dirty and we eliminate the need for all that fancy bedroom furniture. You could even look at it from a "green" point of view-think of the trees we would save!
To be completely truthful though, I don't normally do the laundry-my husband does. (I know I'm a lucky girl huh?) I think at some point in our relationship he realized that if he wanted clean laundry or clothes that didn't smell like mildew he would have to do his own laundry. BUT...his version of laundry isn't all that great either...he does ALL the laundry on the weekends. (as you can imagine with a household of 5-that's a lot of clothes) he does great at getting things in the washer (and out before going moldy) and into the dryer and even manages to get them out of the dryer...this is where he loses focus though. You see he then piles ALL the clothes (we are talking a mountain the size of Mount Everest here!) on to the bed in the guest room and then will very loudly hint that the laundry needs folding. I guess I should count my blessings that he contributes to the work right? After all I've heard terrifying stories of husbands that leave their under wear sunny side up all over the bathroom floor! My husband says the least I could do is fold the laundry. This is where we disagree...I think the least you could do it wash the laundry. I mean lets face it here folks...Maytag and Tide are doing the washing-not him. If he were taking the clothes out to a the river and beating them against a rock and washing them that would be a completely different story! And as any one who has ever folded 15 loads of wash in one day will tell ya-it's the folding and putting away that is the REAL work!!! (did I hear a roar of approval on this one?)
So where was I? Oh! My new zen like obsession with cleaning. Ever since my husband left I have become at one with my Kirby vacuum (yeah we were one of those suckers!) Today I actually vacuumed my ceiling! I climbed on ladders and took down light fixtures, dusted fans moved heavy appliances so that I could clean behind them! It did occur to me at one point that people get paid good money for things like this...why on Gods green earth am I performing them for free with no mention of rewards in the future? (yes...I have traded sex for household chores before!) Is it possible that I have replaced sex with cleaning? Am I the slut of the cleaning world? Oh, My god....I even used two vacuums today-one for upstairs and one for downstairs...I'm not only a slut I'm a whore too! WOW! I feel confident thought that once my husband returns I will return to my former glory of a lazy housewife so there is no need for concern. I am curious though if I dial the 1-800 number on the back of the mister clean bottle, will he himself answer? Maybe this is what I really need? A muscular man that understands my need to have everything clean! I am also wondering at this point if perhaps I should open a window to air out the fumes from cleaning...I swear Mr. Clean just winked at me!
