Hmmm....what's in a name?

What's in the name mommy?

I've been struggling for months now with a decision I made years ago not to have any more children. It's not easy to say, but I believe I made a mistake. At the time I honestly felt I could be a better mommy to 3 children then I could be to 4.


At this moment right now I want to have another baby. Wes and I have talked about it, and while no firm decisions have been made we are still leaning towards the "no" part of the conversation.

You see, to have another baby I would need to have my tubes "un-tied". It doesn't come cheap, and it is NOT covered by my insurance.


When I mention to people that I am thinking about having another baby, they look at me like I am crazy, (I don't necessarily disagree) after all I have three wonderful and healthy kids. But...somewhere, not so deep inside me I am feeling the gentle tug on my heart strings...and it's saying "momma". I've tried to put into words to friends as to why I would invite more chaos into my already crowded household. It was my husband who actually made sense of it for me. For weeks now we have been discussing it, and he has been trying to make me see that I just want the baby part of the child...and that they grow up and are only little sweet babies for a few months. I was actually thinking he was right. So, he was reminding me of midnight feedings, teething, tantrums, diapers, and of course child birth. Please understand I am in no way disillusioned about this! I, after all am the one who got up EVERY single time with all three children for EVERY single feeding and middle of the night diaper changes. I am the one who went through the actual pain of child birth and the joy of my "milk coming in". I'm not really sure how he thinks I have forgotten any of this?! Trust me, my mind and body remember well. Wes then turns to me and says to me, "you like the chaos don't ya? You like the mess and the crying and the dirty diapers don't you?" I laughed when he said it, but he hit the nail on the head! Sure I remember the moments (vividly) of not showering until 8pm at night because I just didn't get a moment to myself, and lugging children to pediatrician appointments and then screaming at them the entire ride home because they had acted up. I do, I really do. I remember the smell of spit up knotted in my hair, and looking for a binky on the floor under the crib in the middle of the night because the baby had once again for the 10th time that hour dropped it and was crying again. And trust me there are moments still now where if you were to knock on my door and give me the right offer I may give you one of my children so I can remember what silence sounds like...but at the end of the day, I wouldn't have it any other way. Sure, I like my "me time" my time with my friends. It doesn't make me a bad mom or any less of a mom by getting away from it for a few moments here and there. Even those who love their jobs don't spend EVERY moment there.


I've been really watching my kids these past few weeks and trying to understand why and where this feeling to have another child has gotten so strong in me. It's not just because my kids are no longer babies. I like the crazy life! For as many times that I look into the rearview mirror of the minivan and yell at the kids to start behaving, there are other times when I look in the rear view mirror and see one more tiny head back there acting up with his/her brother and sisters. I love the big family dinners and the wild trips as a family to the store. I love the giggling on a Saturday morning when the kids are all playing together.


I love Charlie for the way he tries to act all tough when really inside he's still so young. He has such a fragile heart, and I have to remember to tread lightly with him because as much as he wants to be the "big guy" he is still just a momma’s boy at heart, and deep inside he wants to know that's ok.

I love Meaghan for her moody pouts and for her love of life. Meaghan is wise beyond her years. Her wisdom is my proof that there is more to this life after death. A soul like Meaghan's could never cease to exist. She is so tender hearted and has such a beautiful nature she makes me want to be a better person. She's the oldest 6 years old I know!

Caitlynn...I love Caitlynn for being my shadow. She's my mini me, out of all 3 kids I would have to say she is the most like me. She is my reason for wanting another baby. Our time together at home just the two of us has made me see how much of Meaghan and Charlie's life was a blur to me. She is my reason for slowing down and taking time to smell the roses. She ironically has been the one to show me that I am a wonderful mom to three and could do it just as well with 4.

My three kids came so quickly into our lives; I think I missed some of the fun moments. I was so caught up in the day to day events I forgot to take a look around and see how blessed I really was. I complained too much of the noise and the mess and didn’t realize that in the blink of an eye it would be gone. Whatever decisions we come to I know it will work itself out. I am grateful that I can look at my kids and hear the whining and fighting and still understand that I need to appreciate it before it's gone in the blink of an eye.

So as I tucked my kiddos into bed tonight I narrated a bed time story to them with such passion it would have left Katharine Hepburn speechless, I cuddled them close smelling their freshly washed hair and told them just how much mommy loves them. And with matched enthusiasm they told me how much they loved me, and in the end that's all that really matters to me.

My friends

So after reading a friends blog-in which I laughed and cried, I decided to take a time out and pay homage to the wonderful people I call my "girlz".

I've been so blessed to have met an incredible group of ladies this past year. We were thrown together by chance and we have shared so many wonderful memories with each other. I truly can not imagine my life without them.

Let me introduce you to my "G girlz"

Tina-We call her "momma G", not because she's the oldest (like she first thought when graced with the nickname) but because of the way she cares for us. She's kind of like the mother duck and she keeps all of us ducklings in a row. She is the person you go to when you need someone to talk to,to offer you up some objective advice.

Ryann-Just saying her name makes me smile! Ryann is one of those people that when she is in the room she becomes the center of attention. She has this knack for turning everyday events into a humorous anecdote and she tells it with the animation of a Disney character! Ryann is my own personal sunshine. (she will appreciate the Twilight reference)

Heather-Even though she has moved away she is still in our hearts. Heather was a surprise for me. She's quiet at first...but when she opens up she is really easy to be with. She is always up for anything. And is without a doubt the most laid back person I have ever met. If you have high blood pressure or are feeling stressed-Heather is the best medicine!

Alisiana-LOL! I laugh because in some ways she reminds me of me. I think a lot of people when first introduced to her think she is a bitch. (hmmm? Sound like anyone else?) She has a hard exterior...but don't let it fool ya! Once you break through her tough girl facade you will find a very loyal caring person! And she will cross swords with anyone who messes with her friends! :-) (won't ya A?)

Shoshanna-The baby of our group! Sho (as we call her)is just easy to be around. I can't imagine any one NOT liking Shoshanna. I can't even put it into words.She is the kind of person that you can sit on the couch with in your jammies, watching a movie and just feel at ease like you've known her your entire life.

Amy-I saved her for last. She was my inspiration for the post. Amy stands tall in her tiny frame!When you need hospitality go to Amy. (that's hospital-ITY folks...not hospi-TAL!)She always has a kind word and a compliment, that makes you feel like the most important person in the room. If I could shrink Amy, I would carry her around in my pocket! Everyone should have a pocket Amy in their lives.


My girlz are my sanity pills. They keep me in check with reality, and aren't afraid to tell me when I've lost my grasp on it.


My girlz will hold your hand while you're in labor, and pick up the phone in the middle of the night telling you it will all be alright.

My girlz will kick up their heels and bring the party anywhere they go...even if it's just for a dinner out or a simple movie.

My girlz will pick you up off the proverbial floor.

My girlz will make you laugh 'till your sides ache and your face hurts from smiling.

My girlz are fiercely loyal....don't EVER tap your foot or speak down to one of their friends! LOL!

If someone had put all of us in a room 2 years ago and told me, "these women will forever change your life and make you a better person" I would have rolled my eyes and told them they were crazy. How could a group of women with such diverse backgrounds and different personalities possibly be friends? I'm not sure how it works...I just know it does, and for that I am VERY thankful for "My Girlz"

Friday Fill Ins

1. Plans and schedules are fun to plan, but never seem to workout for me

2. I'm happy when things all fall into place

3. The last thing I drank was water.

4. One of the most valuable things in my life is my family.

5. I like pepperoni and onions on my pizza.

6. Dear November, you are one of my favorite months! Love the weather, celebrating our anniversary, the USMC b'day and Thanksgiving

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to our USMC birthday ball with VMX-22, although it wont' be the same without my G Girlz! tomorrow my plans include the Fall Festival at Caitlynn's school (St. Anne's and Sunday, I want to have a wonderful family day!


Thank you Jamie For all the motivation! Be sure to check out her site too!
http://2003beachbunch.blogspot.com/

Flash back Friday

My brother Scott and I at his old place in Athens, Georgia...I'm guessing this is 1995.

Friday Fill in

1. Sweet dreams “don’t let the bed bugs bite”.

2. Wine, bagel chips and hummus on Friday nights was made especially for me.

3. Silliness is contagious around here!

4. My dad is coming this Halloween.

5. Outstanding or not I love my family(but they are pretty outstanding!).

6. More time is what I want right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my Friday night ritual(see #2 for more info), tomorrow my plans include soccer and family time and Sunday, I want to get the house ready for my dad!

Flash Back Friday

Picture of me my Junior year in high school when everything finally started to fall into place. 1993 (sorry the pic is so big)



My friend Carrie and I at my dads house. I think this was maybe 2nd year of college, so that would make it 1996?

Kids Quotables Wednesday

Trying to make a habit out of writing down when the kids say funny or memorable things...Here is what I have for this week....(sometimes they don't always come from our kids though-still just as funny)

While Wes was yelling at Charlie for wearing his glasses on the trampoline, he says:


“Don’t wear your glasses outside anymore, you don’t need them to play. You’ll just end up breaking them.”

To which our adopted daughter (neighbor friend) Paige chimes in with:

“Yeah, save 'em for inside and break them there”


My favorite is an oldie, but a goodie...
it was from my brother when he was about 3 years old, he's 20 now.
My mom and he were driving around doing errands and my brother saw Easter decorations and asked my mom what was Easter, she starts telling him...and then he asks about Jesus and what he has to do with Easter...so she starts by telling him and must have said something along the lines of "when Jesus died for our sins..." etc etc...
my brother says "oh, OK"...
a few minutes go by and my mom starts to notice he looks sad, so she says to him, "Pat, what's wrong?"
He says "I'm going to miss him"
My mom looks at him, and says "who sweetie?"
He looks up at her in the rear view mirror with his great big blue eyes and says "Jesus Christ....he was a nice man." LOVE that kid!

Sunday Synopsis

Ok...so I've decided that since I have such witty friends I would take a couple of my favorite quotes of theirs off of their facebook pages from the previous week. I'm going to try and do this on Sundays-hence the title "Sunday Synopsis".

From Amanda there was:
The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket. ~Anita Loos
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

From Terra:
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.

From Dara:
posted under a picture of her dear little baby girl, "The face of a serial pooper."

Gotta love these girls for their wit and charm!

Best seat in the house...

So like most weekends in the fall this one was filled with soccer. All three kids had games this weekend, and all three played well and won! Charlie showed some real progress on the field as he played sweeper. Meaghan has become quite agressive in playing, and even had to spoken to about not pushing...is it wrong that I was somewhat proud? It just makes me happy to see her finding confidence in herself in an area outside of the classroom. Caitlynn continues to just love being on the field and to have the chance to be on a team.

This weekend was a glorious fall weekend. Today the air was crisp and the sun shined down on the field. I promised myself this summer I wouldn't say "I'm cold" ever again after the long dragged out heat of the summer. So I will say, "I'm not hot." LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, the fall!

We wound down after the game by coming home and riding bikes, working in the yard. Well I observed these things....BUT I have the best seat in the house!!

A real mom's mom.....

Well here we are, 2 days before the kids start back to school...can I get a little; "WOO-HOO"!?
Actually we've had a great summer and I really enjoyed our time. But it is time for the hectic crazy days of school! I'm looking forward to, almost looking at it as a challenge waiting to be conquered. I find myself psyching myself up for it, how sad is that? I've cleaned and organized everything imaginable this past weekend in the hopes of becoming a well managed mom-you know the typed the one who is always on top of it all. The ones that have 5 kids, work full time, go to school, volunteer at the school and manage the soup kitchen...and somehow always have their nails freshly manicured and look like they just stepped off the run way. I HATE those moms! I am the mom who drives her kids to school in her pajamas, I don't get out of the car though. There are times they got off the bus in the afternoon though that I am still in the same PJ's. My goal this year is to be the OTHER mom. I want to be the mom who has the laundry done, dinner ready and time to volunteer at the kids school. I've even told Wes that I want to start getting up with him in the AM...for those of you that don't know that's 5:30AM...and I'm NOT, I repeat NOT a morning person. But that hour before the kids wake up, could really be the key to it all....oh, who am I kidding? The key to it all is speed, legal or illegal speed! LOL! Maybe I will just live on energy drinks and start smoking? hmmm....I wonder what June Cleavers secret was?


Okay so I friend of mine was giving this by a friend when she got married...

Bridal Show-1950 vs. Now

1950's Guide to Marriage
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and off to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make you home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

~NOW THE UPDATED VERSION FOR THE 2009 WOMAN: ~
1. Have dinner ready: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2. Prepare yourself: A quick stop at the "LANCÔME" counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated every time he opens his mouth. (Don't forget to use his credit card!)

3. Clear away the clutter: Call the housekeeper and tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.

4. Prepare the children: Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play Nintendo.

5. Minimize the noise: If you happen to be home when he arrives, be in the bathroom with the door locked.

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner; simply remind him that the leftovers are in the refrigerator and you left the dishes for him to do.

7. Make him comfortable: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.

8. Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (and, of course, use his credit card).

10. The Goal: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him

Okay....here is MY version!

1-Dinner-ask him to pick a rotisserie chicken up on the way home and whip up some instant mashed potatoes.

2-Prepare yourself: brush the cheerios out of your hair, throw on some clean clothes and run the vacuum so it at least LOOKS like I did something besides cruise facebook all day-there I said it, I admit it!

3-Clear away the clutter-toss all the diet coke bottles and spray some febreeze so the room smells fresh.

4-Prepare the children-woops forgot to get them from school this afternoon…make a quick trip to go get them before the school calls.

5-Some don’ts…don’t set the bar too high your first few years or they will bite you in the ass for the rest of your life. Do complain if he’s late for dinner, after all he was to bring the rotisserie chicken home!

6-Make him comfortable-clear your laptop and your people magazine off the couch so he can sit on the couch, while you re-heat the chicken.

7-Listen to him-AKA tune him out. I find this is easiest done while watching Greys Anatomy and imagining he’s McDreamy.

8-Make the evening his-the kids, the dogs, the laundry….they are all his!

9-The goal…there really isn’t one.

10-Remember that all of this is a my attempt at humor! It's not really how we live our life...well not all the time!

Where has all the money gone? Oh, we ate it!

My family has not been affected much by the recession. In fact we live in an area that is often referred to as "recession proof". My husband (God bless him) is in the Marine Corps. It means we can rely on a steady pay check, we know exactly how much he will be making every pay day. It also means we live in an area with other military families, so we aren't affected as much by layoffs in todays economy, because the military doesn't "fire" it's service men and women. But, the downside of being a military family sometimes means that we aren't 'rolling in money'. My husband doesn't get over time (even though he typically works over 40 hours a week), and we don't get 'Christmas bonuses'. More often than not, when you hear about military pay raises it equates to no more than about $70 more a pay check. Soooo...even though we aren't affectd much by the recession, we are a budget conscious family.
There are 5 of us in our family. My husband and I, and our 3 children ages 8,6 and 4. As I've said, my husband is in the military and I stay at home with the kids. One of biggest monthly bills is our grocery bill. I feel like we are just spending WAY to much! I typically go grocery shopping every 2 weeks (every pay day) and spend about $250 each grocery trip. This wouldn't be too bad except we find our selves making improtu runs to the store for things that we find ourselves needing here and there, and these little jaunts are adding up to an extra $100 every 2 weeks. This is where our savings are dwindling.
I've recently taking on the art of coupon clipping once again. So far I have decided...coupons suck! I shoulnd't say that, but have you noticed that coupons aren't what they used to be? It used to be you could actually get coupons in your Sunday paper for grocery items, it seems lately that all you get our ads aand coupons for thigns like slippers, Chuck E Cheese, and thigns you wouldn't normally dream of buying. There are sites though that supposedly help you to find the coupons you use and need more often. I've joined couponmom.com which I find way too garbled with ads and links to other sites. But the site is free. There is another site called grocery game.com, this site does charge a fee ($10 every 8 weeks) but appears to be better organized. They offer a 4 week trial period so I am going to look into it a bit.
So here are it goes with living frugal on a budget...eek!

A Southern Summer

It's not my first Summer here in the South...but it's my first with kids WITHOUT a pool. One things for sure...it will be our last! Wes and I decided to wait this year with a pool. Actually to be completely fair, this was ALL Wes' decision! He didn't want to kill the grass...yeah cause the 90' weather isn't already accomplishing that! Not to mention that no one is outside appreciating the grass because it is so DAMN HOT! It's not really that hot though, not compared to years past. It's about mid 90's now and for North Carolina in the summer time that isn't bad at all. It's having three children inside that is bad! It's too hot in the mid day to go outside for too long so that leaves me with either having a house full of neighborhood children or listening to my children complain all day that they are bored, and "there is nothing to do". Somewhere my mother is pointing in our general direction and laughing.
I've decided the best way to survive the heat is to completely avoid it...as much as possible. Trips to the library, and local museums have been top on our list. We've also been frequent visitors to the Farmers Market. Even though it's outside, it's a fun summer time experience. The kids LOVE picking out fruit and vegetables, and occasionally getting a cool summer treat like custard or ice cream.
My favorite thing about summer (besides being able to sleep in a bit) is enjoying a tall glass of Sweet Southern iced tea while sitting on my rocking chairs on the front porch while the kids catch fire flies. On second thought, I take back all the negative stuff I said about summer time in the South...I LOVE it! But I'd love it more next year, with a pool!

Mr. Clean

WOW! I kept up with that huh? Well I did admit to being lazy what more do ya want? So here it is...March15th-husband still in Iraq...three children are all accounted for. I have managed to drop a few pounds...But I have managed to fall of the food wagon-or maybe it's that I jumped on it? I'm not sure how that goes...I did point out to one of my friends today that I just about have this bulimia thing where I want it...I have mastered the art of binging....now if I could just make myself enjoy throwing up I would be set!!! I digress...I don't really want this to be all about food and weight...I just have all these voices and thoughts in my head and I need to get them out! Nothing is scarier than a hungry mom of three kids with random thoughts floating in her head...medication can't always calm everything...Ha ha!

Lately, I have entered this zen like lifestyle with cleaning. first let me explain something here...I am the type of person who is more than happy to live out of laundry basket-indefinitely. I mean it is kind of silly if you ask me. We take the clothes out of the drawers, put them on, take them off put them in a hamper (or throw it in a pile on the floor) and then we load them into the washer (sometimes I stall out here-and the clothes sit for 2-3 days at which point I need to wash them again because they have a funk about them now) then they are put into the dryer and next the laundry basket, and then folded and put away back into the drawers they came from...seems like an awful lot of work for clothes!!! I say...everyone gets their own laundry basket...one for clean clothes one for dirty and we eliminate the need for all that fancy bedroom furniture. You could even look at it from a "green" point of view-think of the trees we would save!

To be completely truthful though, I don't normally do the laundry-my husband does. (I know I'm a lucky girl huh?) I think at some point in our relationship he realized that if he wanted clean laundry or clothes that didn't smell like mildew he would have to do his own laundry. BUT...his version of laundry isn't all that great either...he does ALL the laundry on the weekends. (as you can imagine with a household of 5-that's a lot of clothes) he does great at getting things in the washer (and out before going moldy) and into the dryer and even manages to get them out of the dryer...this is where he loses focus though. You see he then piles ALL the clothes (we are talking a mountain the size of Mount Everest here!) on to the bed in the guest room and then will very loudly hint that the laundry needs folding. I guess I should count my blessings that he contributes to the work right? After all I've heard terrifying stories of husbands that leave their under wear sunny side up all over the bathroom floor! My husband says the least I could do is fold the laundry. This is where we disagree...I think the least you could do it wash the laundry. I mean lets face it here folks...Maytag and Tide are doing the washing-not him. If he were taking the clothes out to a the river and beating them against a rock and washing them that would be a completely different story! And as any one who has ever folded 15 loads of wash in one day will tell ya-it's the folding and putting away that is the REAL work!!! (did I hear a roar of approval on this one?)

So where was I? Oh! My new zen like obsession with cleaning. Ever since my husband left I have become at one with my Kirby vacuum (yeah we were one of those suckers!) Today I actually vacuumed my ceiling! I climbed on ladders and took down light fixtures, dusted fans moved heavy appliances so that I could clean behind them! It did occur to me at one point that people get paid good money for things like this...why on Gods green earth am I performing them for free with no mention of rewards in the future? (yes...I have traded sex for household chores before!) Is it possible that I have replaced sex with cleaning? Am I the slut of the cleaning world? Oh, My god....I even used two vacuums today-one for upstairs and one for downstairs...I'm not only a slut I'm a whore too! WOW! I feel confident thought that once my husband returns I will return to my former glory of a lazy housewife so there is no need for concern. I am curious though if I dial the 1-800 number on the back of the mister clean bottle, will he himself answer? Maybe this is what I really need? A muscular man that understands my need to have everything clean! I am also wondering at this point if perhaps I should open a window to air out the fumes from cleaning...I swear Mr. Clean just winked at me!