Tales of work

Stories from working at the newspaper:
Me: "Miss O may I ask why you wish to cancel your services?"

Miss O. "we just don't do things like that"

Me: "things like what may I ask?"

Miss O: "ya know things like read the paper or watch the news, ya know that kind of stuff"

Me: (to myself of course) uh yeah I wouldn't be admitting that kind of stuff OUT LOUD to people!

And we wonder why people are so ignorant!
Mr X "I just recieved a bill from you all and I don't why 'cause I'm not due till May"

Me: "Uh sir...I'm not understanding what the problem is"

Mr X (raising voice) "well this is the 11th and I'm not due till May why are you sending me a bill now"

Me: "sir that's your bill FOR May---most bills are sent a week or two before they are due. Seeing as today is April 11th we've mailed that bill to you now so you can pay it for May"

Mr X: "oh"